【上海市延安中学教师 陆佳伟-2012上海春季高考英语作文评析和范文】：

挖掘立意，咬文嚼词

——为2012年上海秋季高考英语作文加油

作者

上海市延安中学教师  陆佳伟

牛津大学应用语言学硕士

2012年上海春季高考英语已经悄然结束，笔者特地原创一篇范文为2012年参加高考的学生提供一个参考。

本次考试的作文题目如下：

描述你在学校的一次午餐，具体要求如下：

  详细描述用餐的情况

  简要表述你对这次午餐的感受

这是一篇简单却需要挖掘的文章，因为如果只是描述用餐情况，显然缺乏深度，夸夸其谈，流于表面。学生拿到这样的题目需要仔细考虑用餐背后的东西。比较容易想到的话题是食物浪费、用餐卫生、餐桌礼仪等。在创作范文中，笔者另辟蹊径，通过大多数同龄人用餐时的匆忙来村托“我”的悠然自得，凸显出在紧张的高中学生生涯中，作者能够留有一片心灵净土，通过饮食来调节情绪，更好地面对挑战，表现出乐观的人生态度。此文结构简单，文笔清新，语言精准，并运用了高中阶段常见的语法结构，不失为一个很好的作文模板，供学生借鉴。

The instant the bell indicating the end of the last class rang, out of the classroom poured all students but one.

Unlike my peers, I was in no hurry to make a run for the school canteen, to rush through lunch and to return to the classroom for homework. I arrived at the canteen when a massive queue had formed. Waiting for my turn patiently, I smelled the aroma of the appetizing food. Greasy as some dishes might be, the wide range of food prepared by the school was superior in nutritional value to that found elsewhere.

The typical schedule of a high-schooler is extraordinarily hectic and thus lunch break is a rare time when overworked students can wind down and enjoy the pleasure provided by the flavorful food. I make it a point to pamper my taste buds by savoring every little bit of taste in food. What I usually like to do over lunch is have a mindless conversation with a couple of students who have also learnt to smell the roses along the bone-breaking journey through high school. We rounded off our lunch with a dessert, refreshed and satisfied.

Come to think of it, it is not the food but my attitude towards life that affords me pleasure and empowers me in facing up to various challenges.

(219 words)

语法解构

现在分词作定语
 the bell indicating the end of the last class rang
 
倒装句
 （1）out of the classroom poured all students but one

（2）Greasy as some dishes might be
 
不定式
 I was in no hurry to make a run for the school canteen
 
状语从句
 I arrived at the canteen when a massive queue had formed.
 
现在分词作状语
 Waiting for my turn patiently,
 
过去分词作状语
 the wide range of food prepared by the school was superior
 
代词用法
 （1）the wide range of food prepared by the school was superior in nutritional value to that found elsewhere.

（2）enjoy the pleasure provided by the flavorful food
 
并列句
 The typical schedule of a high-schooler is extraordinarily hectic and thus lunch break is a rare time
 
定语从句
 （1）thus lunch break is a rare time when overworked students can wind down

（2）a couple of students who have also learnt to smell the roses
 
主语从句
 What I usually like to do over lunch is have a mindless conversation
 
过去分词作主语补足语
 We rounded off our lunch with a dessert, refreshed and satisfied.
 
强调句
 it is not the food but my attitude towards life that affords me pleasure
 

词汇解构

pour out
 冲出
 
rush through
 草草了事
 
a massive queue
 排长龙
 
greasy
 油腻的
 
aroma
 香味
 
extraordinarily
 特别地
 
hectic
 忙碌
 
flavorful
 美味的
 
wind down
 休息、放松
 
pamper my taste buds
 宠爱我的味蕾
 
smell the roses
 [习语] 享受生活
 
bone-breaking
 累人的
 
empower
 给人动力