(点评：所出现错误均为简单语法和拼写错误,还有句子衔接出现问题. 观点的顺序需要与下文顺序一致)

　　People who hold the first view argue that teaching about academic subjects is an essential responsibility for any teacher. From their point of view, a qualified teacher should not only make every student acquire the knowledge, but also learn how to learn independently. Take students in the primary school as an example, most pupils do not know anything about their subjects. Therefore, a good teacher should have the ability  to guide the students to study and inspire their interests on this field. Only in this way can students become independent in their future and further study.

　　问题：首句为主题句，应言简意赅。之后应该就此深入展开。

　　学习知识：acquire/gain knowledge

　　注意举例恰当:例子要支持自己的观点，是观点的展开

　　On the other hand, others hold the opinion that apart from academic subjects, teachers need to teach students about how to tell right from wrong, and how to behave well. They believe that by doing so, students can easily adapt to the society where they may be confronted with various choices, including both the good and the bad. In class time, a teacher’s peoper behaviors, attitudes and comments on social issues will absolutely set good examples for students. Accordingly, students can develop their correct philosophy of life, and meantime they build up the indispensible quality, such as teamwork, tolerance, perserverence. In this way, the students can learn how to solve the problems they meet, and how to face the difficult time and so forth.

　　3段：采用总分总结构阐述第二个观点：注意观点的安排上，赞成的观点一般放在后面且论述稍长。

　　Taking into account the above analysis, I prefer the second view. What makes me convinced is that the ultimate goal of education is to server the development of the society. From my point of view, only those people, who are quipped with not only knowledge, but proper behavior and the ability to tell right from wrong, can shoulder the responsibility of constructing society.

　　文章尾段完成任务：总结上文，表明自己观点，简要说明原因。