14. Build a network.

建立起交际网。

Become people's information source, and let them be yours. A former coworker might have gotten a new position at that company where you've always wanted to work. Go to them for a beer, and ask about the company. It's all about connections and information.

做别人的信息源，也让别人成为你的信息源。以前的同事可能在你心仪已久的公司里找到了新工作。和他们一起喝一杯，然后询问那个公司的情况。一切都是关于联系和信息。

 

15. If you are angry at the person in front of you who's driving like a grandmother ...

如果你对前面开车慢得像老太婆的人很生气……

Pretend it is your grandmother — it will significantly reduce your road rage.

就当那个人是个老太婆吧——这能大大减轻你的路怒症。

 

16. Stand up straight.

站直。

No slouching, hands out of pockets, and head held up high. It's not just a cliche — you literally feel better and people around you feel more confident in you.

不要没精打采的，把手从裤兜里掏出来，把头抬高。这不仅是陈词滥调——你真的会觉得更好，你身边的人也会对你有更多的信心。

 

17. Avoid saying "I think" and "I believe" unless absolutely necessary.

除了非说不可时，避免说“我觉得”和“我相信”。

These are phrases that do not evoke confidence, and will literally do you no good.

这些短语不能激发自信，对你不会有任何实质的益处。

 

18. When feeling anxious, clean up your home or work space.

觉得焦虑的时候，整理一下你的房子或者工作区域。

You will feel happier and more accomplished than before.

你会比以前感觉更加快乐和有成就感。

 

19. Always buy the first pitcher or round of drinks.

永远买第一壶或者第一桶饮料。

You'd be surprised how long you can drink on the phrase "I bought the first one."

你能边喝边说：“我是第一个买的。” 你能说这句话的时间会长到让自己惊奇。

 

20. Going into an interview ... be interested in your interviewers.

去面试的时候……对你的面试官感兴趣。

If you focus on learning about them, you seem more interesting and dynamic. (Again, people love to talk about themselves.)

如果你重点放在了解他们，你会显得自己更加有趣和有精力。（再说一次，人们喜欢谈论自己。）

 

21. Pay attention, parents: Always give your kid a choice that makes them think they are in control.

父母们，注意了：总是给你的小孩选择，让他们觉得自己在控制事情。

For instance, when I want my son to put his shoes on, I say, "Do you want to put on your Star Wars shoes or your shark shoes?"

例如，当我想让我儿子穿鞋时，我会问：“你是想穿上你那双星球大战的鞋子还是那双鲨鱼的鞋子？”

Pro-tip: In some cases, this works on adults.

进一步的小贴士：在某些情况下，这对成年人同样有效。

 

22. Your actions affect your attitudes more than your attitudes affect your actions.

你的行为影响你的态度，而不是你的态度影响你的行为。

As my former teacher said, "You can jump and dance FOR joy, but you can also jump and dance yourself joyful."

就像我以前的老师说的：“你可以为了开心去蹦蹦跳跳，但是你蹦蹦跳跳就能让自己开心了。”

 

23. When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group.

当一群人笑的时候，人们会本能地去看那群人中让他们觉得最亲近的人。

 

24. If you want to build rapport or gain someone's trust quickly, match their body posture and position.

如果你想要和某人建立起密切的关系，或者快速得到某人的信任，和他们的身体姿势和位置保持一致。

If someone is sitting with her legs crossed, cross your legs. Matching body position is a subconscious way to tell if someone trusts you or is comfortable with you.

如果某人两腿交叉地坐着，你也双腿交叉。是否和别人的身体位置保持一致是一种判断某人是否信赖你或者和你相处愉快的下意识的方式。

 

25. The Benjamin Franklin Effect.

本杰明·富兰克林效应。

The pencil one may seem far-fetched, but I find the basis of it (the Benjamin Franklin effect) is very useful and extends far beyond pencil borrowing. This knowledge is useful in the world of flirting too.

铅笔似乎对你来说有些遥远，但是我发现它（本杰明·富兰克林效应）的基础是非常有用的，远远超过借铅笔。这个知识在调情的世界里也很有用。

Asking a girl in your class if you can borrow a pencil or to explain the homework will make her more likely to like you than if you let her borrow your stuff or are the one to help her. The best part is that it kills three birds with one stone: You get the advantages of the favor itself, the person subconsciously likes you more, and it makes them more open to future favors and conversation.

问你们班的一个女生借铅笔或者让她给你讲作业，比你把东西借给她或者你帮助她，更有可能让她喜欢上你。最好的一点就一石三鸟：你得到了帮助带来的好处、帮你的人下意识地更加喜欢你了，而且这件事让他们更有可能在未来继续帮助你或者和你交谈。

小编注：【本杰明·富兰克林效应的故事】本杰明·富兰克林曾表示，通过向一个不喜爱他的议员借书，他们俩最终成为了要好的朋友。认知失调理论的解释为，如果我们去帮助一个不喜欢的人，结果说不定就会喜欢上他—— 当我们给予不喜欢的人帮助时，其实是经历了一种失调，我们的行为和对此人的态度之间发生了矛盾。为了缓解这种失调，我们会尽力说服自己这个人是好的、值得帮助的，从而注意并强调了其优点，而淡化了自己本来不喜爱他的事实。