《荷塘月色》是中国文学家朱自清任教清华大学时所写的一篇散文，因收入中学语文教材而广为人知，是现代抒情散文的名篇。朱纯深先生的《荷塘月色》译本是这篇名作诸多译本中不可多得的优秀译作之一，巧妙地从整体上把握了原作的音韵美和意境美。

 

荷塘月色Moonlightover the Lotus Pond

朱自清ZhuZiqing

 

　　这几天心里颇不宁睁。今晚在院子里坐着乘凉，忽然想起日日走过的荷塘，在这满月的光里，总该另有一番样子吧。月亮渐渐地升高了，墙外马路上孩子们的欢笑，已经听不见了;妻在屋里拍着闰儿，迷迷糊糊地哼着眠歌。我悄悄地披了大衫，带上门出去。

It has beenrather disquieting these days. Tonight, when I was sitting in the yard enjoyingthe cool, it occurred to me that the Lotus Pond, which I pass by every day,must assume quite a different look in such moonlit night. A full moon wasrising high in the sky; the laughter of children playing outside had died away;in the room, my wife was patting the son, Run-er, sleepily humming a cradlesong. Shrugging on an overcoat, quietly, 1 made my way out, closing the doorbehind me.

 

 

　　沿着荷塘是一条曲折的小煤屑路。这是一条幽僻的路;白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。荷塘四面，长着许多树，翁翁郁郁的。路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名字的树。没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。

Alongside theLotus Pond runs a small cinder footpath. It is peaceful and secluded here, aplace not frequented by pedestrians even in the daytime; now at night, it looksmare solitary, in a lush, shady ambience of trees all around the pond. On theside where the path is, there are willows, interlaced with some others whosenames I do not know. The foliage, which, in a moonless night, would loomsomewhat frighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight isnot more than a thin, grayish veil.

 

 

　　路上只我一个人，背着手踱着。这一片天地好像是我的;我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。我爱热闹，也爱冷静;爱群居，也爱独处。像今晚上，一个人在这苍茫的月下，什么都可以想，什么都可以不想，便觉是个自由的人。白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话，现在都可不理。这是独处的妙处;我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了。

I am on my own,strolling, hands behind my back. This bit of the universe seems in my possessionnow; and I myself seem to have been uplifted from my ordinary self into anotherworld. 1 like a serene and peaceful life, as much as a busy and active one; Ilike being in solitude, as much as in company. As it is tonight, basking in amisty moonshine all by myself, I feel I am a free man, free to think ofanything, or of nothing. All that one is obliged to do, or to say, in thedaytime, can be very well cast aside now. That is the beauty of being alone.For the moment, just let me indulge in this profusion of moonlight and lotusfragrance.

 

 

　　曲曲折折的荷塘上面，弥望的是田田的叶子。叶子出水很高，像亭亭的舞女的裙。层层的叶子中间，零星地点缀着些白花，有袅娜地开着的，有羞涩地打着朵儿的;正如一粒粒的明珠，又如碧天里的星星，又如刚出浴的美人。微风过处，送来缕缕清香，仿佛远处高楼上渺茫的歌声似的。这时候叶子与花也有一丝的颇动，像闪电般.霎时传过荷塘的那边去了。叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着，这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕。叶子底下是脉脉的流水，遮住了，不能见一些颜色;而叶子却更见风致了。

All over thiswinding stretch of water, what meets the eye is a silken field of leaves,reaching rather high above the surface, like the skirts of dancing girls in alltheir grace. Here and there, layers of leaves are dotted with white lotusblossoms, some in demure bloom, others in shy bud, like scattering pearls, ortwinkling stars, or beauties just out of the bath. A breeze stirs, sending overbreaths of fragrance, like faint singing drifting from a distant building. Atthis moment, a tiny thrill shoots through the leaves and lilies, like, a streakof lightning, straight across the forest of lotuses. The leaves, which havebeen standing shoulder to shoulder, are caught shimmering in an emerald heaveof the pond. Underneath, the exquisite water is covered from view, and none cantell its colour; yet the leaves on top project themselves all the moreattractively.

 

 

　　月光如流水一般，静静地泻在这一片叶子和花上。薄薄的青雾浮起在荷塘里：叶子和花仿佛在牛乳中洗过一样;又像笼着轻纱的梦。虽然是满月，天上却有一层淡淡的云.所以不能朗照;但我以为这恰是到了好处——酣眠固不可少，小睡也别有风味的。月光是隔了树照过来的，高处丛生的灌木，落下参差的斑驳的黑影，峭愣愣如鬼一般;弯弯的杨柳的稀疏的倩影，却又像是画在荷叶上。塘中的月色并不均匀;但光与影有着和谐的旋律，如梵炯铃上奏着的名曲。

The moon shedsher liquid light silently over the leaves and flowers, which, in the floatingtransparency of a bluish haze from the pond, look as if they had just beenbathed in milk, or like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood. Although it is a fullmoon, shining through a film of clouds, the light is not at its brightest; itis, however, just right for me -a profound sleep is indispensable, vet asnatched doze also has a savour of its own. The moonlight is streaming downthrough the foliage, casting bushy shadows on the ground from high above,jagged and checkered, as grotesque as a party of spectres; whereas the benignfigures of the drooping willows, here and there, lank like paintings on thelotus leaves. The moonlight is not spread evenly over the pond, but rather in aharmonious rhythm of light and shade, like a famous melody played on a violin.

 

 

　　荷塘的四面，远远近近，高高低低都是树，几而杨柳最多。这些树将一片荷塘重重围住;只在小路一旁，漏着几段空隙，像是特为月光留下的。树色一例是阴阴的，乍看像一团烟雾;但杨柳的丰姿，便在烟雾里也辨得出。树梢上隐隐约约的是一带远山，只有些大意罢了。树缝里也漏着一两点路灯光，没精打采的，是渴睡人的眼。这时候最热闹的，要数树上的蝉声与水里的蛙声;但热闹是它们的，我什么也没有。

Around the pond,far anti near, high and low, are trees. Most of them are willows. Only on thepath side, can taro or three gap; he seen through the heavy fringe, as ifspecially reserved for the moon. The shadowy shapes of the leafage at firstsight seem diffused into a mass of mist, against which, however, the charm ofthose willow trees is still discernible. Over the trees appear some distantmountains, but merely in sketchy silhouette. Through the branches are also acouple of lamps, as listless as sleepy eyes. The most lively creatures here,for the moment, must he the cicadas in the trees and the frogs in the pond. Butthe liveliness is theirs, I have nothing.

 

 

　　忽然想起采莲的事情来了。采莲是江南的旧俗。似乎很早就有，而六朝时为盛;从诗歌里可以约略知道。采莲的是少年的女子，她们是荡着小船，唱着艳歌去的。采莲人不用说很多，还有看采莲的人。那是一个热闹。的季节，也是一个风流的季节。梁元帝《采莲斌》里说得好：

Suddenly,something like lotus-gathering crosses my mind. It used to he celebrated as afolk festival in the South, probably dating very far hack in history, mastpopular in the period of Six Dynasties. We can pick up some outlines of thisactivity in the poetry. It was young girls who went gathering lotuses, insampans and singing love songs. Needless to say, there were a great number ofthem doing the gathering, apart from those who were watching. It was a livelyseason, brimming with vitality, and romance. A brilliant description can befound in lotus Gathering written by the Yuan Emperor of the liang Dynasty:

 

 

　　于是妖童破女，荡舟心许：鹤首徐回，兼传羽杯;掉将移而藻挂，船欲动而萍开。尔其纤腰束素，迁延顾步;夏始春余，叶嫩花初，恐沾裘而浅笑，畏倾船而敛裾。

So thosecharming youngsters rote their sampans, heart buoyant with tacit lone, pass onto each other cups of wire while their bird-shaped prows drift around. Fromthroe to time their oars are caught in dangling alga, and duckweed flow apartthe moment their boats are about to mote on. Their slender figures, girdledwith plain silk, tread watchfully on board. This is the time when spring isgrating into summer, the leaves a tender green and the flowers blooming - amongwhich the girls are giggling when evading an out-reaching stem, their skirtstucked in for fear that the sampan might tilt.

 

 

　　可见当时嬉游的光景了。这真是有趣的事，可惜我们现在早已无福消受了。想学习更多英语知识，请关注口袋英语aikoudaiyy

That is aglimpse of those merrymaking scenes. It must have been fascinating: butunfortunately we have long been denied such a delight.

 

 

　　于是又记起《西州曲》里的句子：

Then I recallthose lines in Ballad of Xizhou Island:

 

 

　　采莲南塘秋，莲花过人头尹低头弄莲子，莲子清如水。

Gathering thelotus, I ant in the South Pond, / The lilies in autumn reach over my head; /Lowering my head I toy with the laws seeds. / Look, they are as fresh as thewaster underneath.

 

 

　　今晚若有采莲人，这儿的莲花也算得“过人头”了;只不见一些流水的影子，是不行的;这令我到底惦着江南了——这样想着，猛一抬头，不觉已是自己的门前;轻轻地推门进去，什么声息也没有，妻已睡熟好久了。

If there weresomebody gathering lotuses tonight, she could tell that the lilies here arehigh enough to "reach over her head"; but, one would certainly missthe sight of the water. So my memories drift back to the South after all.Deepin my thoughts, I looked up, just to find myself at the door of my own house.Gently I pushed the door open and walked in. Not a sound inside, my wife hadbeen fast asleep for quite a while.

 

 

 

1927年7月，北京清华园

Qinghua Campus,Beijing July, 1927.

 

 

赏析：

 

　　沿着荷塘，是一条曲折的小煤屑路。这是一条幽僻的路;白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。荷塘四面，长着许多树，蓊蓊郁郁的。

Alongside theLotus Pond runs a small cinder footpath. It is peaceful and secluded here, aplace not frequented by pedestrians even in the daytime; now at night, it looksmore solitary, in a lush, shady ambience of trees all around the pond.

　　处理“蓊蓊郁郁”这一叠词，译者使用lush, shady来表现，其中前后相连的卷舌音"sh"从音韵上模仿了原文。

 

 

　　路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名字的树。没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。

On he side wherethe path is, there are willows, interlaced with some others whose names I donot know. The foliage, which, in a moonless night, would loom somewhatfrighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight is not morethan a thin, greyish veil.

　　有没有注意到，描写景物时汉文倾向于用形容词，而英文偏抽象的名词，“月光也还是淡淡的”被处理成“a thin greyish veil”，强化了一种难以言喻的朦胧感。

 

 

　　路上只我一个人，背着手踱着。这一片天地好像是我的;我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。

I am on my own,strolling, hands behind my back. This bit of the universe seems in mypossession now; and I myself seem to have been uplifted from my ordinary selfinto another world.

　　这一片天地好像是我的：This bit of universe seems in my possession now是不是有浮士德的影子?

 

 

　　我爱热闹，也爱冷静;爱群居，也爱独处。像今晚上，一个人在这苍茫的月下，什么都可以想，什么都可以不想，便觉是个自由的人。白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话，现在都可不理。

I like a sereneand peaceful life, as much as in company. As it is tonight, basking in a mistymooshine all by myself, I feel I am a free man, free to think of anything, orof nothing. All tht one is obliged to do, or to say, in the daytime, can bevery well cast aside now.

“bask in”(沐浴在)是译者根据理解增添的意象。

 

 

　　这是独处的妙处，我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了。

That is thebeauty of being alone. For the moment, just let me indulge in this profusion ofmoonlight and lotus fragrance.

"Theprofusion of"又是形容词抽象化为名词的例证，这的确是汉译英中一种常用的手法。

 

 

　　曲曲折折的荷塘上面，弥望的是田田的叶子。叶子出水很高，像亭亭的舞女的裙。

All over thiswinding stretch of water, what meets the eye is a silken field of leaves,reaching rather high above the surface, like the skirts of dancing girls in alltheir grace.

　　这句的难点是“田田”和“亭亭”二词。田田，形容荷叶相连、盛密的样子，又引申出形容鲜碧的、浓郁的意思，这里借喻了丝软的意象是否贴切，读者自己去体会。“亭亭”的翻译很到位，英文中很常用的说法。

 

 

　　叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着，这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕。叶子底下是脉脉的流水，遮住了，不能见一些颜色;而叶子却更见风致了。

The leaves,which have been standing shoulder to shoulder, are caught trembling in anemerald heave of the pond. Underneath, the exquisite water is covered fromview, and none can tell its colour; yet the leaves on top project themselvesall the more attractively.

　　用project这一主动的用法处理“叶子却更见风致”，比“looks more attractive”更能表达叶子搔首弄姿的风情。

 

 

　　月光如流水一般，静静地泻在这一片叶子和花上。薄薄的青雾浮起在荷塘里。叶子和花仿佛在牛乳中洗过一样;又像笼着轻纱的梦。

The moon shedsher liquid light silently over the leaves and flowers, which, in the floatingtransparency of a bluish haze from the pond, look as if they had just beenbathed in milk, or like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood.

　　朱自清最美的一句话仔细想来却模棱两可，月亮把流水般的月光泻在叶子上似乎更和逻辑，这就是朱纯深的想法。floating transparency又是抽象名词，把一个动词短句“青雾浮在荷塘里”处理为一个短语“inthe...transparency”插入在大的从句中，把汉语珍珠罗玉盘般的短句美成功转化为英语从句套从句的链式美。

 

 

　　虽然是满月，天上却有一层淡淡的云，所以不能朗照;但我以为这恰是到了好处——酣眠固不可少，小睡也别有风味的。

Although it is afull moon, shining through a film of clouds, the light is not at its brightest;it is, however, just right for me -- a profound sleep is indispensable, yet asnatched doze also has a savour of its own.

A film of clouds，形容词名词化。

 

　　树色一例是阴阴的，乍看像一团烟雾;但杨柳的丰姿，便在烟雾里也辨得出。

The shadowyshapes of the leafage at first sight seem diffused into a mass of mist, againstwhich, however, the charm of those willow trees is still discernible.

　　找出汉语中松散的短句间的逻辑或空间结构，将之串成长句，是英语翻译的功夫，一般的翻译可能会这样处理：The leafage is shadwoy. It seems like a mass of mist.But the charm of those willow trees is discernible in the mist. 这就显得啰嗦也不够地道了。

 

　　忽然想起采莲的事情来了。采莲是江南的旧俗，似乎很早就有，而六朝时为盛。

Suddenly,something like lotus-gathering crosses my mind. It used to be celebrated as afolk festival in the South, probably dating very far back in history, mostpopular in the period of Six Dynasties.

“江南”究竟应该如何译是一个值得专题讨论的问题，在一篇散文中，纠结于江南的地理概念是没有必要的，所以译者只是大体译出了方位，以免破坏行文的美。

 

　　那是一个热闹的季节，也是一个风流的季节。梁元帝《采莲赋》里说得好：

It was a livelyseason, brimming with vitality, and romance. A brilliant description can befound in Lotus Gathering written by Yuan Emperor of the Liang Dynasty:

　　风流如何翻译也是个问题，在不同的地方，“风流”的意思的差别不小。想想看，“风流女人”“数风流人物”“名士自风流”“风流倜傥”“黛玉身体面庞虽怯弱不胜，却有一段自然的风流态度”这些词语中的风流都是一个意思吗?风流的季节又是什么意思呢?译者综合了青春和浪漫两层意思来形容，你觉得言尽其意了吗?

 

“于是妖童媛女，荡舟心许;鷁首徐回，兼传羽杯;棹将移而藻挂，船欲动而萍开。

So thosecharming youngsters row their sampans, heart buoyant with tacit love, pass onto each other cups of wine while their bird-shaped prows drift around. Fromtime to time their oars are caught in dangling algae, and duckweed float apartthe moment their boats are about to move on.

译者在处理“荡舟心许”时，花了不少心思，用“buoyant”表达了“舟荡而心荡，遂许于他人”的过程。